Potential Innovations To Indulge My Insanity

By David Metcalfe

November 16, 2019

Good Time But Not For A Long Time

In reflecting on the last few months, I think purchasing prostitutes was a good idea. I think it’s important for young men to have the opportunity to receive some amount of female affection. Single young men should be able to engage in social communities where there are young women who they can go on dates with, and then give and receive some amount of physical affection- hugging, kissing, hand holding, etc.- with them at some point. And in the event that a young man tries his best to pursue those goals for several years and is completely unable to, I think it is acceptable for him to pay for it with consenting young women.

It was empowering to me. When I get rejected by young women, they have all the power to say yes or no, and I’m helpless. But finally I was able to have control. I don’t think I abused it, either- I always went out of my way to act very nice towards the prostitutes. And, of course, all I wanted was to cuddle and kiss them, but there was one girl that I got along especially well with, and she wanted to have sex for free- no extra money involved, just of her own volition- so we did. It was one of the best moments of my life. It’s something that makes me feel good about myself whenever I reflect back on it.

But I don’t think I’m going to do it anymore. I think it operates on the law of diminishing returns. The first time cuddling and kissing a girl was incredible. The first time feeling a girl’s breasts was incredible. And, of course, the first time having sex was incredible. But now I’ve done it, and oddly enough, I’m content in that regard. Last week I paid a girl to cuddle with me for a while, and all I could think was, “I wish we loved each other”. As I pondered it more, I considered the connection between ethereal love and its physical manifestation, and I came to the conclusion that physical affection has a very low limit- that limit being the physicality itself. Or, in other words, putting your lips against another person’s lips is only that- it’s the relationship, the emotions, the connection- that makes it something greater- something really worth doing.

For the last few months, a large amount of my life has been motivated and consumed by my attempts to get affection or a relationship from a young woman (separate from the prostitutes). I would swipe right on “Tinder” and “Mutual” about 20 times per day. With “Tinder” I met some girls that were ok to hang out with, but not inspiring. Secular girls- or at least the ones I met- tended to be quite shallow, and I found that the way to keep their interest was to talk about money, parties, and vacations. With “Mutual” I am still amazed at how quickly those Mormon girls decide they don’t like me. It takes some of them as little as 10 minutes to slink back in their chair and stop engaging in conversation with me, and a bunch of them say, “well, I better get going now” after only 20-30 minutes. Yikes. I think the chances of me having a temple marriage are about as likely as a kid who didn’t make the peewee hockey team making it to the NHL; if you can’t even succeed on the most rudimentary level, achieving the long game success is impossible.

Deciding to stop engaging in that pursuit leaves me in an odd predicament- what should I do with all that extra time? Where should I live? Who should I be? Is there a different goal out there worthy of pursuing?

I try to think creatively about these things, because some of my best ideas about things have been when I really opened my mind up to a wide range of potential possibilities. A few ideas that I’ve taken some time to consider include: moving to Vancouver Island to live as a marijuana smoking hippie, moving to Arizona to live as an unemployed drifter, moving to Ottawa to write and submit articles about Canadian politics, and staying in Edmonton to buy a duplex in Leduc. Let’s indulge my insanity for a moment:

Location: Vancouver Island

Identity: Marijuana Smoking Hippie

Goal In Life: To Chill, Dude

I have this fantasy: me and a group of chill peeps are out in the forest behind our cabin having a campfire. We roll up some doobies, eat snacks, and take out our instruments: guitars, bongo drums, a pan flute, egg shakers, and we all sing Bob Dylan and Beatles songs until late hours into the night. Our friend group works a lot of eclectic odd jobs- a part time Starbucks barista, a part time grocery clerk at CO-OP, a part time guitar teacher…we’re all part time, actually, because our goal in life is just to chill. As long as we have enough money to cover our rent, food, weed, and basic transportation, we’re completely content. We spend most of our days reading, playing video games, exercising/sports, some like to hang out with people all the time and some like to keep to themselves more, but you know that every evening we’re going to meet up to get high and chill together. We don’t care about owning possessions, getting married, and we all have a certain antipathy towards modern society- appreciating nature and considering technology and infrastructure to be an infringement on it.

Location: Arizona

Identity: Unemployed Drifter

Goal In Life: Read, write, and make people’s lives slightly better

I like the idea of finding some chill peeps who will let me sleep on their couch or in their backyard on a cot for $200/month, and I basically take up residence during the day at the local library. I just sit in there and read books and articles, and write long blog posts and submit articles to publishers on philosophy, history, economics, or whatever comes to my mind to write about. I don’t own a car, and the walk to the library is an hour each way, giving me plenty of time to listen to podcasts each way; every podcast/speech Malcolm Gladwell has ever given, conference talks from the Mormon Church, sermons from pastors, and whatever else I feel like hearing. I show up to churches and events in the area, and volunteer my time wherever opportunities come available.

Location: Ottawa

Identity: Aspiring Journalist

Goal In Life: Get published

I get a room for $500/month in a house in Ottawa, and a part time job doing something random. But basically all my time is focused on writing articles specifically to get published. I’m immersed in Canadian politics- physically and mentally. I go to political lectures at the universities, and show up to the Parliament building for various public events. I sit and read Maclean’s magazine every day- carefully studying the structure, the background research, the writing style, and so forth. I even attempt to meet and chat with some of the writers. And maybe I keep failing to get published, but maybe I don’t care because I love what I’m doing so much that my idealistic passion outweighs my reality. And maybe I meet some cool friends who also really like politics and law and that sort of thing, and I hang out with them from time to time to discuss those things.

Location: Edmonton

Identity: Real Estate Guy/Hermit/Fake Journalist

Goal In Life: Buy a duplex in Leduc

It sounds oddly specific- buy a duplex in Leduc. But I research real estate quite a bit these days, and I’ve had some success with “Airbnb” and real estate purchases, and I’m so convinced that a newer 3 bedroom duplex in Leduc would work super well for “Airbnb”. I could live in the basement or the garage, and then rent out all three rooms in the upstairs. I would probably make close to $2000/month- $1300 would go towards my housing expenses and $700 to my savings account, and then I’d pay for my personal living expenses by driving Uber or whatever the heck I feel like. I would continue being a social hermit and just hanging out with a few specific people from time to time.

Some (Sort Of) Concluding Remarks

All of my goals, when you consider the base ideas, are about essential things I desire- friendship, a community of people who accept me for who I am, music, nature, fun times, career success, engaging in thought, and living simply in regards to material things. I think life can be quite an adventure, if you’re willing to view it that way. It seems like most people I meet view life as a single track: practice the religion I was raised in, work hard at my job and make as much money as I can, buy the nicest house I can in the area my job is in, get a wife and children, enjoy a couple hobbies on the weekend, etc. That doesn’t sound like a bad life, but it is very predictable, and there’s nothing especially interesting about it. The advantage of having a few screws loose in your brain, like I probably do, is that while you don’t get some of the enjoyments of the normal life, it does open you up to some unique opportunities.

I could probably do all four of these ideas if I wanted to; I would just have to break them up into four month increments or something. But obviously if I don’t make much money then I won’t be able to buy the duplex, and also living as a drifter/hippie is great, but it gets very easy to start running a deficit, and the part-time job is not exactly stable, typically. But then again, I could poke a lot of potential holes in my strange plans if I wanted to, and I certainly do. No lifestyle is perfect. People live in a variety of ways, in a variety of cultures, and many of them seem to find some kind of joy in who they are and what they do. I like to think I’m a cosmopolitan at heart; the idea of immersing myself in different cultures and frames of mind seems inspiring to me.